how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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