just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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