The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
