he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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