I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
