I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
