Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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