He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
