Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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