Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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