he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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