i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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