someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
