Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
