so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
