Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
