I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the day after is always just damage control
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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