Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
