Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
