I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
