Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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