I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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