so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
