The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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