I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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