Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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