If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
