no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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