But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
