You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
