You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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