god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
