can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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