Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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