I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
