he puts the penis in happiness.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
