I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
