You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
