I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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