Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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