He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Damn victory sex feels great
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
