I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Someone shit on the floor
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
