I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
