dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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