it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
