this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
