Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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