I cockslap morals
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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