I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
