i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
